Get Outta My Face! – 171 pp

This was one I saw reviewed on Tim Challies’ blog. Here’s my review.

Part I: Stance

1. Seek first God’s glory
2. Check your own heart motives
3. Identify the log in your own eyes first
4. Reference your own sin and failures

Part II: LCLP

Listen Big

Five Pylons

1. Listen by echoing your teen’s feelings with “quatements”
2. Listen for what your teen does not want
3. Listen to your own teen’s body language, and listen with your own
4. Listen to affirm, not necessarily to agree
5. Listen until you see the paradoxes

Clarify Narrow

Five Realities

1. Wise wants – good desires that God has hardwired into teens
2. The Power of Choosing – teens have the ability to make real choices
3. The Pain of Choosing Poorly – foolish choices yield painful consequences
4. The Question of Control – there are things the teen can and cannot control
5. Relationship with Christ – speak about this after bridge is built, not before

Look Wide

• Use teen’s past experiences as exceptions
• Blame him for making wise choices in the past
• Affirm your teen’s “freedom” and “control” to change or not change
• Affirm everyone’s lack of ability to change others
• Hypothesize about possiblities for wise choices and for change
• Hypothesize about the outcomes of non-change
• Note the spiritual resources for enduring change

Plan Small

• Reason about what will happen with and without change
• Plan specific changes
• Convert negative goals into positive ones
• Identify a way to measure change

Part III: Making Change Stick

• Keep the conversation going
• Plan a follow-up conversation
• Use open-ended questions and “quatements”
• Keep the cross in view
• Nudge your teen toward heart concerns